This is hard

I have been trying to keep busy and keeping my minde off my surgery it's been helping but now I'm getting to the point where I'm getting sad I wish not upset when I am in pain.. I have been pretty depressed with friends having normal jobs and me not being able to drive and be like the normal kids at my age, no I am not playing self pity game I'm just so ready to have my surgery and begin lifting a happy healthy fun life . I miss the old me , I'm trying my best to stay strong but why do I feel so alone?